Social Grace

More and more people are now communicating via text, e-mails, e-cards and now (thanks to Apple) face-time.  With less one-on-one interaction, it seems as if people social etiquette and skills are not up to par.    Thank You, Excuse Me, Have a Great Day, are all social phrases that are being used much less and so infrequently, that people are not only becoming indifferent toward this ‘laid back’ attitude, but  are also accepting this new normality.

I come from a working-class family where etiquette was and still is taken very seriously.  Growing up in a home with 9 older brothers, I was such a tomboy–something my mother hated.   So before starting kindergarten, she made sure that I knew how to ‘properly’ conduct myself as a little girl and  sent me to etiquette classes for toddlers (as she did with my brothers years earlier) to learn how to properly sit, the proper uses for cutlery, how to properly treat your ‘table-mate’,  etc., and I never forgot when my etiquette teacher said, “Good manners and proper etiquette will open doors that money and status cannot.” She made that statement everyday and she was so right.  When I look at our society and the informal way people greet and socialize with one another on a daily basis, it makes me realize how very essential it is to have the proper knowledge of formal etiquette.  When I recently bought my first formal dinner set, the sales lady was shocked upon my knowledge of the difference in dinnerware sets.  She said, “Not many young people, know about difference of formal and casual dinnerware sets, this is the easiest sale I’ve made in a while without having to give a lesson!”  I laughed, but totally understood what she meant and we had a long conversation about how the decline and the undervalue of etiquette is affecting our society.

So please, take an etiquette class and invest in both Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt’s etiquette books because as the saying goes, ‘Money can’t buy class!”

Published in: on January 31, 2011 at 5:10 pm  Leave a Comment  

Award Season 101

This is the time of year that fans of  music,  movies, and entertainment wait for:  Award Season!  We often hear about the rags to riches stories of many celebrities, but there are many artists out there who are looking for ways to break into this industry and just don’t know how.  Everyone is not a break out star who will be discovered while sitting on a park bench or standing on a corner.  Even going to networking parties, doing gigs at clubs or even good old fashion auditions will leave many out in the cold.  Many of us believe in the saying ‘It’s not what you know, but who you know’ and that has led some people to question “If I don’t know the right people, how will I ever get to where I want to be?”  Well sometimes you have to go through the backdoor and the old saying ‘Education is Key’, is as valid as ever.

Many of the organizations of the award shows that we watch (Grammy Awards, Oscar Awards, etc.) offer grants and scholarships to those who have the talent in their given field.  Everyone may not become a celebrity, but being able to make a great living by doing what you love, is star quality in my book.  And what better way to meet the people who know the right people?  Getting a scholarship or grant not only gives you access to the members of the organization, but now they even know your name.  Which will lead to a meet and greet, which then gives you the opportunity to present yourself as someone who is not only talented, but as someone having talent worth investing in.  The entertainment business is just that–a business.  Therefore, you are your biggest investment.  So back up that talent with educated confidence and apply for grants, scholarships and whatever else in addition to your gigs, auditions, etc. and see just how far you can go!  Here are some links to help get you started: http://www.oscars.org/education-outreach/index.html http://www.grammy.org/grammy-foundation/grant

Remember that sometimes it is what you know, that will lead you to who you need to know.  Good Luck!

Published in: on January 25, 2011 at 12:50 pm  Leave a Comment  

Judging American Idol

L to R: Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez, Randy Jackson

After watching the first two nights of American Idol season 10 auditions, I am sold!!  I absolutely love the chemistry between the judges.  Newcomers Steve Tyler and Jennifer Lopez is exactly what this show needed, and Randy Jackson seems thrilled that they joined him on the judging panel.

There has been so much negative commentary out there about the judges being too nice, but I disagree.  As far as Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez are concerned, they know first hand what it is like to have a dream and they know what it takes to make that dream come into fruition.   I don’t think that when judging someone’s talent, you have to be mean-spirited or a smart-ass.  We all miss Simon, but Simon was his genuine self as a judge, which is why we loved his commentary.  I like the fact that Jennifer and Steven are the same way, staying true to who they are.  Giving criticism is not an easy task, but I think the new panel of American Idol judges are doing just fine.

Published in: on January 21, 2011 at 10:33 am  Leave a Comment  

The Return of Duvalier

In 1971 at the young age of 19, Jean-Claude ‘Baby Doc’ Duvalier became the new ruler of Haiti, following the death of his father, Francois ‘Papa Doc’ Duvalier.  Jean-Claude Duvalier initially resisted being the ruler and wanted the presidency to go to his older sister, Marie-Denise Duvalier, but Haiti’s dynastic arrangement prevented this from happening.  From 1971-1986, Duvalier’s corruption dramatically destabilized the country of Haiti.  In 1986, Duvalier sought exile in France and applied for political asylum, which was denied by French authorities.

 

Jean-Claude Duvalier at the Karibe Hotel in Port-au-Prince/Photo: Allison Shelly-Getty Images

 

 

Fast-forward 24 years later and Jean-Claude Duvalier returns to Haiti.  Why?  What is the real reason of his return and furthermore, who let him back in the country?  In a brief radio interview, Mr. Duvalier stated that his return is only about helping his country, not politics.  But for those who lived in Haiti under Duvalier’s rule, they are not only displeased, but unnerved about his return.  Evidently, his returned is also unnerving to both France and the United States.  According to the New York Times: ‘Neither France, which had granted Mr. Duvalier asylum, nor the United States, Haiti’s largest benefactor, said they had anything to do with his return. In fact, both governments said they had been unaware that Mr. Duvalier had left Paris until his flight was close to landing in Port-au-Prince.’ Duvalier was last seen being escorted out of his hotel by Haitian police, whether or not he is being arrested is unclear at this time.

What does all of this mean for Haiti?  This is a country that has suffered tremendously and it is going to take a lot to not only rebuild this country, but to also rebuild the trust of its citizens.  The history of the Haitian government has led to many rebellions and not enough rebuilding.  Maybe the return of Duvalier can lead to the necessary dialogue of this country being lead in the direction needed for the people of Haiti to prosper.

Published in: on January 18, 2011 at 1:54 pm  Comments (1)  

Gender-Bending Fashion

Fashion is being taken to a whole new level thanks to Mr. Marc Jacobs!  The new chosen face for Marc Jacobs Spring 2011 collection has the bone structure of Cindy Crawford, the pouty lips of Megan Fox and a body similar to Keira Knightley, but he is all man.  Andrej Pejic is a 19-year-old young man from Serbia and he is at the forefront of the fashion industry’s androgynous new trend.

Photo: Turkish Vogue

Andrej Pejic was first seen in a  Jean-Paul Gaultier’s Paris runway show.  Since then he has appeared in three consecutive spreads in French Vogue, Italian Vogue, and Turkish Vogue. Recently, he was unveiled as the face of Marc Jacobs’ spring 2011 campaign and will appear in Gaultier’s spring ads alongside the supermodel Karolina Kurkova. According to an article written by Isabel Wilkinson, in which she interviews Pejic, she writes ‘Pejic is part of fashion’s new “femiman” trend, the latest in a new crop of gender-bending models who have risen to prominence in the past few seasons. …Fashion has embraced the gender-bending model—but Pejic stands for something larger, and is not just the face of a passing trend or a controversial ad campaign. He’s the leader of a new gender fluidity in fashion, in which traditional male and female attitudes are starting to matter less. It’s a message that is being slowly adapted industry-wide—and is resonating with consumers.’

 

I think that this new message is coming at the right time.  With all of the recent suicides being committed by children because homophobic bullying, this new attitude of  ’embracing one’s difference’ is much needed. Maybe Calvin Klein was ahead of his time when using androgynous models for his early CK One ad campaigns.  Or maybe the public just wasn’t ready for it, but my how times have changed.  A change that was long overdue has now arrived-and it’s about time!

 

 

Published in: on January 12, 2011 at 10:09 am  Leave a Comment  

The Necessity of Travel

Oscar award-winning actor Matt Damon once stated, “I think many of our problems as a country would be solved if people had thick passports. There’s just no substitute for actually going and seeing things.”  As a person who loves exploration of all things, I agree.  So why don’t more Americans travel?  I believe many of us have one word to answer that question: Affordability.   However,  as a country full of people who live financially beyond our means, why are travel expenses not at the top of our debt list?

Let’s face it, travel is not cheap.  If it was, I would be on my second passport by now.  For the average working American, travel is an expense that we have put at the bottom of our priority.  Could this be because many do not understand the absolute need for it?  If we did, would we then find a way to be able to afford to travel more?

I believe that travel is a fundamental necessity in order to gain a thorough understanding of all things.  Exploring different places, cultures, food, etc., in their natural and original environment can enhance us in ways beyond our own comprehension.   National Geographic, The Travel Channel, Travel + Leisure, Conde Nast Travel and many other travel publications and television programs,  have brought the world into our living rooms.  Instead of this igniting a travel spark within some of us, it seems as we only became viewers and stop being explorers.  Many  Americans view travel as an expensive,  leisure activity for the rich and famous, business tycoons and others of a certain social status, but it is not.  Travel is the best educational tool that we have.  It is because of travel, that countries were found.  It is the only investment that has the biggest return which will not dwindle.  When we began to view travel as an investment then maybe more of us will find a way to afford it.  I know I have.  Last year, I decided to make monthly installments towards a 10 day Italian vacation that I will be taking later this year.  It is expensive, but so are my student loans.

I also plan to start a non-profit organization which will financially assist low-income families with access to take affordable, fun and educational vacation adventures.  Let’s hope Matt Damon can give a contribution.

Published in: on January 11, 2011 at 3:51 pm  Leave a Comment  

The Power of Words

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

As a person who loves literature, I was very surprised to hear that there will be editing to a book written by one of the America’s most beloved authors, Mark Twain.  His book ‘The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn’ is not only a classic literary read, but a very prolific piece of literature for American culture.  However, a new edition of this classic book will now be published without the word ‘nigger‘.

Allan Gribben, who happens to be a Twain scholar at Auburn University, is the person who is responsible for this new edition.  Gribben explains, “Seems to me I’m doing something constructive by simply eliminating a word that’s a clear barrier for many people.”  The  word nigger is used 219 times throughout the entire novel, to intentionally shed light on 19th century racism in America.

But my real question however is, who are the “many people” Gribben speak of  when stating that this word is such a barrier, that it should be eliminated?  Who is he doing this “constructive” act for?  Personally, as an African-American who was educated in the South, I  find Gribben actions to be for the benefit of White Americans who don’t want to discuss American history in its true form.  Which is exactly what this novel does.   And I’m not the only person of color who thinks the word ‘nigger’ should remain as is, in this classic novel.   Morehouse College’s David Wall Rice believes that the word actually help Americans look racism in the face, “We have to have the discussion about it, we can’t skate over it.” I am in total agreement!

Dialogue is the key to growth, and uncomfortable subject matter will initiate dialogue.  That is the beauty of literature.  To edit a word can sometimes edit the tone of a story, which then edits the subject matter.  Growth and change are never easy (hint the phrase ‘growing pains’), but it is necessary.  We as an American culture can never be afraid to discuss our history. It is our history, both good and bad, that makes us such a wonderful nation.  To try to erase history with word editing is wrong and to edit a word to eliminate necessary discussion for a particular race of people, is just plain cowardly.

This novel was published in 1885 and from the first printing, the controversy is still ongoing, with recent attempts to ban the book.  But what amazes me is that the controversy always center around the use of one word, but the book is mostly about a friendship between two people who are of a different race, background, and generation gap, yet they work together and put their differences aside, in the face of adversity and for the betterment of one another.

And isn’t that what America should be about?

Published in: on January 6, 2011 at 2:09 pm  Comments (1)